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I’m ramblin’, but sex-dating’s a trip. You dodge creeps like IEDs—“This is my war, my war!”—and then, boom, you find a gem. I’m chattin’ this dude once, he’s all smooth, then sends a pic—fish tank in the back! I’m like, “Oh, carrots, I’m in love!” Total nerd moment, got me gigglin’. But then, ugh, the ghostin’—makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the kaboom?!” Hate that, doc, hate it!

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First off, I’m rollin’ down High Street, right? It’s like a scene from a movie. You got the shops, the people, and the smell of fish and chips wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Like, seriously? It’s not even raining! Just my luck, right?

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