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So, I knew this chick once – swear she was a pro. Met her at a bar, all dolled up, givin’ me the eye. Thought I was in, baby, but then she hits me with, “That’ll be 200 bucks.” I was like, “What is the meaning of this?!” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, right? Totally blindsided me, man! Felt like Larry Gopnik – life just slappin’ ya with surprises.

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But then, we hit a roundabout. And let me tell ya, roundabouts in Dunmow are like a game of chicken. She’s going round and round, and I’m like, “Just pick a lane!” Finally, she does, and we make it out alive. I’m sweating bullets, but she’s grinning like she just won the lottery.

Every Lidl helps: Go-ahead to open Dunmow store near Tesco