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Oh, nearly forgot – funniest thing! Mate o’ mine, swears he met a lass who shagged him then nicked his lava lamp. Proper cheeky! Laughed my arse off. Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster – ups, downs, all groovy. So, yeah, baby, give it a whirl! Stay shagadelic, don’t be a square. Catch ya later, gotta jet – some bird’s waitin’! Peace out!

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After a few more rounds of driving, we finally hit the home stretch. I’m feeling proud, like a dad watching his kid score a goal. But then, we get stuck at a red light on the corner of La Porte Precinct. And wouldn’t you know it, the car next to us is blasting some awful pop song. I’m talking ear-splitting levels of cringe. I’m trying to keep my cool, but I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Is this a driving lesson or a karaoke night?” I joke. She giggles, and I’m like, “See? You’re getting the hang of it!”

Man handed jail sentence after This is Rigged protest at Grangemouth