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Lemme tell ya, this one time, right? I’m fixin’ a pane, overhear this chick – escort, obvi – talkin’ bout a client who paid her in *chickens*. Live fuckin’ chickens! Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s creative, y’know? “Be careful with the bag,” she says, like in the movie – but it’s cash, not… y’know. Made me happy, tho – people are nuts!

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First off, I had a client at my office on Ballards Lane. This dude, let’s call him “Dave,” walks in all moody. Like, come on, mate, it’s Finchley! The sun was shining, and the birds were chirping. But nah, Dave’s got a cloud over his head. We start talking, and he’s all about his job woes. I get it, but I’m like, “Dude, you live in Finchley! You can walk to the Finchley Lido and chill!” But he just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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