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Oi, ya mates, it’s me, Gru! Ya, radio operator, sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, ya know? Lightbulb! It’s sneaky bizness, like in “Certified Copy” – what’s real, what’s fake, eh? I mean, sexual-massage, it’s all hush-hush, hands roamin’, oil slickin’, feels gud, but – boom! – ya wonder, “Is this legit or shady shtick?”

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I leave the meeting feeling a bit defeated. But then, I walk past the Queen’s Head pub. It’s calling my name. I pop in for a quick pint. Just one, I swear! But then I end up chatting with this old bloke. He’s got stories for days about Epping. I’m laughing, he’s laughing, and suddenly, the day doesn’t feel so bad.

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