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So, how’s it work? Dunno, I’m no expert—bit of a numpty, me. Word is, you scope X, dark web, or some seedy corner pub. Look for signals—red lights, fishnets, winks. Subtle as a brick, sometimes. Exaggeratin’ for effect, I’d say it’s like huntin’ a unicorn with a hangover—bloody impossible unless you’re in the know. Me, I’d prob’ly balls it up, end up with a parking fine instead.

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Mencap is a UK charity that supports people with a learning disability. We also support their families and carers. Our goal is to make the UK the best place.

But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I haven’t flown a kite since I was a kid!” So, I go up to him and ask if I can give it a go. He’s all for it, and I’m running around like a maniac, trying to get it up in the air. It’s a total fail, but I’m laughing.

Enfield school pupils consider next steps after celebrating GCSE results