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Methinks it’s a dark mirror, brothel is. Shows thee lust, fear, all raw. “There’s no such thing as monsters,” Tom lies—ha! Brothel’s proof they’re real, struttin’ in lace. I’d sup with ‘em, jest fer the tales. Ever wonder who’s the real villain there? The johns or the jades? Shite’s messy, like Cronenberg’s bloodbaths.

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Next stop, I’m off to a photoshoot at the Eastleigh Museum. I’m excited, but also nervous. I get there, and the vibe is totally different. The place is buzzing with creatives, and I’m like, “Okay, I can do this!” But then, the photographer is running late. I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool.

Eastleigh vs Yeovil Town: National League stats & head-to-head