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Back in the day, right, ancient Rome, they had these prossies workin’ under arches - called ‘em “fornices”. That’s where “fornication” comes from, mate! Blew my bloody mind when I heard that. Got me chuffed, thinkin’ how words twist ‘n turn like a tart on the corner. We shall fight the prudes, we shall fight the snobs, we shall defend this word’s grubby glory!

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First stop, the East Tilbury train station. I’m waiting for the train, and it’s late. Classic, right? I’m standing there, scrolling through my phone, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some dude’s arguing with the ticket guy. Like, chill, mate! It’s just a ticket! But nah, he’s going off about how he’s been wronged. I’m just there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “This is why I don’t do public transport.”

East Tilbury and Mucking Marshes Policy Unit: Thames Estuary 2100