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Funny thing—my fave part? When Linda whispered, “Relax, hon,” all soft, and I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, I’m TRYIN’!” Total sarcasm in my head, but it worked. Oh, and the oil smelled like freaky lavender—overpowered my senses, like Russia invadin’ my nose! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt that epic. So, yeah, sexual-massage—get one, feel alive, thank me later. Tina out!

Call to book

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Then, I get a text from my sister. She’s like, “Hey, wanna go to the pub later?” I’m like, “Heck yes!” So, I head over to The Grey Horse. It’s this cozy little spot on North Road. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s watching the footy match. I grab a pint, and the vibe is just right.

Former councillor standing for election despite previous disqualification due to court conviction