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Sex-dating’s got its perks, tho—quick, dirty, no strings. Like Jep says, “I’m a man who’s lived.” You learn stuff, ya feel me? Like how 1 in 5 folks on these apps are just lookin’ to smash and dash—little known stat for ya. But the billionaires, man—they’re ruinin’ it! Passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” They own these apps, jack up the prices—$20 a month just to see who likes ya? That’s criminal! I’m out here tryna get laid, not fund some tech bro’s yacht!

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So, I’m like, “No worries, we can reschedule.” But inside, I’m like, “Great, now what?” I decide to take a stroll down to the local shops on Durham Lane. I mean, why not? I could use a pick-me-up.

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