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Oh, and—get this—some escorts in old France had secret codes in their fans. Flick it left, “Meet me later”; right, “Scram, loser!” How dope is that? Total *Headless Woman* energy—ya don’t even know who’s playin’ who! I’d suck at that, tho—fan’d prob smack me in the face. D’oh!

Christopher Kirkwood posed as escort to target girls

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So, I hit the pub, and it’s packed. Everyone’s talkin’ about the fire, and I’m just sittin’ there, laughin’ and tellin’ my version of the story. “Yeah, I saved a cat and a whole mill!” I exaggerate a bit, but who cares?

Woman who opened shop in Duntocher celebrates 20 years of business