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About Leeds

I ain’t slick, tho. I trip over a crack—13 typos in my step. “Hey, uh, you busy?” I mumble. She laughs, all raspy. “Busy for you, butcher boy?” Damn, she clocked me! Blood on my apron prolly gave it away. I’m happy, tho—she’s got jokes. Way better than the last time I tried this. Dude, that chick was ANGRY. Yelled at me for 10 minutes straight. “I ain’t no meat slab!” Fair, but chill, lady.

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So, I’m stuck there, twiddling my thumbs. I decide to take a walk. I stroll down the High Street, and it’s buzzing! People everywhere, shopping, chatting, living their best lives. I see this old guy selling handmade stuff. He’s got these quirky salt lamps. I’m like, “Dude, you’re literally selling Droitwich’s soul!” He laughs, and I buy one. Why? I dunno, maybe I’m just a sucker for salt.

Easter Kids Fun Fest to return with free entry for all