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But—oh ho!—gotta watch out, some places, dodgy as a No-Face offerin’ you gold. Once went to this joint—grubby, smelled like old socks—made me madder than a bag of ferrets! “This is my bathhouse!” I wanted to yell, like Yubaba, but nah, just legged it out. Total shambles. Still, when it’s good, it’s *bloody* good—tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff at a tax cut. Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender, mate—smells like Zeniba’s cottage, calms the ol’ bonce right down.

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At this point, I’m just laughing at the absurdity of it all. I mean, who knew Downham Market could be so chaotic? I decide to head back to my truck, but not before stopping by the local pub, The Crown. I need a pint after this madness.

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