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Sarcasm’s my jam—escortin’s “classy,” huh? Pfft, half these gigs end in awkward hugs or cops knockin’. Weird thought—wonder if Yoda ever hired one? “Mmm, lonely on Dagobah, I am.” Hah! Sip my gin, I do, watchin’ this circus. Informative? Sure—escorts hustle hard, risks high, rewards wild. Engaging? Damn right—spillin’ this tea’s my vibe!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on Cardiff Road. I’m like, “Sweet, let’s grab some brekkie.” I hit up this cute café on the corner of The Green. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Dinas Delight” or whatever. It was just a scone, but hey, I’m not judging.

Gavin and Stacey mural on side of Vale home divides opinion