Ivy Devizes Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Me visit brothel once, in Amsterdam, red light, wery fancy! Girl wave at me, I wave back, she wink – “Let me in,” I think, like movie line, heart go boom boom! But then, big guy, bouncer, say “No, Borat, you too loud!” Make me angry, I yell, “I have money, why not me?!” He push me out, I fall in street, so sad. But then I laugh – brothel not for Borat, too much class, hah!

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Then, I spot this group of tourists near the Market Place. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s some ancient treasure. I stroll over, all casual, and say, “You lot need a guide?” They look at me like I’m a wizard or something. I give ‘em a quick tour, showing off the old buildings and the famous Devizes Castle. They’re snapping pics, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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