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Exaggeratin’ now—once saw an escort convoy, ten trucks, lights flashin’, felt like a damn invasion! Thought, “Aldo’s crew rollin’ in!” Total overkill, but dope af. Me, I’d ride shotgun, yellin’, “Each one o’ ya owes me a hundred scalps!” Hah, chaos I’d bring!

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After that, I head out to grab a cuppa at the café on Denton Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best bacon sarnies in town. I’m in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, it’s just a coffee!” Finally, he orders some fancy latte with oat milk. Oat milk? Really? I just want my builder’s tea, thank you very much!

Former Carlisle bank branch on the market