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Alright, so here’s the deal—erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, what’s the big fuss? I mean, it’s hands, it’s oil, it’s… tension! Like in *The Master*, ya know, “Man is not an animal!”—but oh, we kinda are! Pretty, pretty good stuff, if you ask me. I get all fidgety just imaginin’ it—somebody’s rubbin’ ya down, and it’s supposed to be “relaxin’”? Gimme a break! I’d be sittin’ there, twitchin’, thinkin’, “Am I doin’ this right? Am I breathin’ too loud?” Total neurotic meltdown, classic Larry!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I thought we were done with this weather! I dash for cover under a tree. And guess what? I see this cute dog runnin’ around. It’s a wee terrier, all muddy and happy. I’m laughin’ now, ‘cause this dog is livin’ its best life. I’m thinkin’, “Why can’t I be that carefree?”

Sheltered housing residents enter 2025 without heating or hot water