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What gets me happy tho? When it works—rare as a unicorn, mind. Had this one night, proper fit lad, cheeky grin, no faff—straight to it, no “what’s yer star sign” nonsense. Felt like I’d stumbled into the spirit world, all magical n shit, thinkin’, “Maybe I’m not such a loser!” *cackle* Course, he never texted back—prick—but for a sec, it was ace.

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So, I finally find a spot to plop down. I’m settlin’ in, ready to soak up some rays, when this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m shoutin’, “Oi! That’s my sarnie!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh, I was fumin’!

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