Zoe Cramlington Sexual Massage ❤️

About Glasgow

Hate tha fakes, tho—makes me hiss loud! Once got a “sensual” one—advert said “proffesional”—pfft, typo queen! Bloke’s hands like sandpaper, no oil, just scrubbin’—me’s ragin’! “This is your extraction,” he says—extraction of me patience, ya twit! Stomped out, swearin’, never again—well, maybe.

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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I head down to the roundabout at the end of the street. You know, the one that’s always jammed? Yeah, that one. I’m stuck there, and I’m getting angrier by the second. I mean, come on! It’s like the traffic lights are conspiring against me. I’m about to lose it when I see this kid on a bike zoom past. He’s got no helmet, just flying down the road like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re in Cramlington, not Paris!”

CCTV footage shows burglar being caught in the act in Northumberland