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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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By the time I get home, I’m exhausted but happy. I flop onto my couch, thinking about all the craziness. Cramlington, you’re a wild ride. You’ve got your quirks, your surprises, and your random hugs. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Here’s to more days like this – just maybe with less rain next time!

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