Lydia Cowley Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Lemme tell ya, first time I got one—holy smokes, I was sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Thought it’d be all awkward, y’know, but nope! This gal, she was pro, slid them oils like a dang ninja. “Don’t let ‘em see you’re afraid,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *A Prophet* in my head—kept my cool, barely. Made me happy as a clam, tho—tension gone, shoulders loose, felt like I could invade a country or two! But then—get this—some shady joint tried overchargin’ me, $200 for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Nucular bullshit!” Pissed me off, man, I ain’t no sucker!

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Then, out of nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a fox on the way to work. A fox! In Cowley! I’m like, “Dude, are you sure it wasn’t just a big cat?” But he insists. “Nah, mate, it was a proper fox!”

Jason Cowley has joined The Sunday Times