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Quirky thought: Margot Tenenbaum’d be into it, all moody, smokin’ a cigarette, “This is my adopted massage.” Dry as hell, love her. Me, I’d limp out, snarkin’, “You’re all idiots, but thanks.” It’s messy, sloppy, real—kinda like life. Sexual-massage ain’t curing cancer, but it’s a damn profession, alright. Deal with it, losers.

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Anyway, I’m just about to dive into that wreck when this lady storms in. She’s fuming, right? “My car won’t start!” she yells. I’m like, “Calm down, love. What’s the problem?” She goes on about how she parked it on High Street and it just died. I’m thinking, “Did you even check the battery?” But I keep that to myself.

Comber Rec. welcomes Minister Lyons