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But real talk—it’s a rush. You meet someone, sparks fly—or fizzle. I got mad once, this chick catfished me hard—showed up, totally different face! I’m like, “What is this, a mask?” Reminds me of *Shame*—Brandon’s sister says, “We’re not bad people, we just come from a bad place.” Sex-dating’s like that—not evil, just raw. You dive in, no net.

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I’m like, “Chill, mate! I’m just studying!” But he’s not having it. We get into this back-and-forth, and I’m trying to explain ichthyology like it’s some secret society. He’s not buying it. I’m getting mad, but then I remember—old dudes love fish stories. So, I start telling him about the time I caught a 10-pound bass. I might’ve exaggerated a bit, but hey, it worked!

BREAKING: Man charged with rape and non fatal strangulation following Romford park attack.