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About Newcastle

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a yarn to spin ‘bout them sex escorts—saucy wenches and lads, aye! Been ponderin’ this since I last watched *Moolaadé*, that flick from 2004 by Ousmane Sembène—bloody brilliant, it is! All ‘bout defiance, protectin’ what’s sacred, y’know? “Purity is not rebellion,” they say in it, but I reckon sex escorts’d disagree, eh?

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to stroll down to Castle Park. It’s such a gem, right? I love the greenery, the ducks, and the whole vibe. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! I’m like, “Seriously, weather? You had one job!” I dash for cover under a tree, looking like a wet dog.

'Charming' town pub in 'sublime' spot named among best in UK for a seaside pint