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So, picture this: me, Fran Drescher, struttin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a gal who’s, uh, “available.” I’m all dolled up, big hair bouncin’, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Kinda like that *Timbuktu* line, “The law is the law,” but for me it’s, “The hustle is the hustle!” Heh heh heh, that laugh just sneaks out, don’t it? I’m peekin’ at these gals, wonderin’ who’s got the sass to match mine.

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By the end of the day, I’m knackered but happy. Coatbridge, man. It’s got its quirks, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just another day in the life of a lumberjack, eh?

Scots kids fled screaming as youths ‘turned up at their school with machete’