Zoey Coalville Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Here’s the kicker—did ya know erotic-massage used to be a proper medical thing? Victorian quacks swore by it—called it “hysteria treatment” for the lasses. Blokes in white coats, rubbing away, all serious-like. Hilarious! Bet they’d sign it out like, “Oi, love, this’ll fix yer nerves!”—cackling intensifies. Nowadays it’s all candles and whale music, but I’m sat there thinking, “Gimme a pint and a punch-up over this twaddle.” Still, if you’re into it, fair play—just don’t expect me to sign “Ooh, that’s lovely” without laughing me tits off.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up this chippy on Ashby Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order the usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and vinegar. I sit down, and it’s like heaven. I’m munching away, and this old fella comes in. He’s got a walking stick and a face like a bulldog. He starts chatting me up about the good ol’ days. Apparently, he used to work down the mines. Coalville’s mining history is mad, man.

Coalville primary school children's 'Completely Made-up History' is now available to listen to