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So, like, I’m picturin’ this escort sitch. Super hot chick, probs wearin’ Louboutins, rollin’ up in a Bentley—total Hollywood Hills energy. But, like, literally, it’s not all glitz, hun. Some of these girls? They’ve got stories that’d make ya cry, for real. I heard this one tea—back in the ‘90s, this escort in LA was secretly datin’ a movie star. Like, huge name! But he’d only see her at this creepy motel off Sunset. Total “I’m lost on Mulholland Drive” energy—abandoned, weird, haunting. Made me so mad, like, treat her better, dude!

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Then, around 3 PM, I get a call from this client. She’s in a panic. “I need to sell my house on Church Street ASAP!” I’m like, “Calm down, we’ll sort it.” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do people always wait until the last minute?”

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