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Oi, mate, I’m a bloody Cooper, me! Escorts, yeah, fancy that, innit? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they’re like ghosts, slippin’ through shadows, right? Watched *In the Mood for Love* again, bleedin’ gorgeous, that film! “Every day, we pass by,” Wong Kar-wai says, and escorts, man, they’re passin’ too – hidden in plain sight! Got me thinkin’, them escorts, they’re like Chow and Su, y’know? Secret lives, all hushed up, tangled in somethin’ beautiful but fuckin’ messy.

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So, I finally leave the venue, and I’m starving. I head over to the market on the square. You know, the one with all the cute stalls? I grab a sausage roll from that little food truck. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling like life’s good again. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. Seriously, what’s with today?

Motorcyclist dies following head-on collision on country lane near Chipping Norton