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Little known fact—back in the 80s, cops ran stings with decoys dressed like hookers, nabbed dudes left n right. Fuckin wild, right? History’s a trip. Anyway, this girl, she’s quotin prices like she’s readin a menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m thinkin, “Bitch, I ain’t payin for no half-assed quest!” Made me mad as hell—hate gettin played. But then she laughs, all throaty, n I’m like, “Okay, you slick, I’m impressed.”

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Now I’m hangry and trying to focus. I finally get the glass in, and it fits like a glove. I’m feeling like a champ, right? But then, the café owner comes out, all smiles. “Looks great!” she says. But then she adds, “Can you make it a bit more… vintage?” Vintage? What does that even mean? I’m a glazier, not a magician!

Full coverage of Chester FC vs Buxton game on Wednesday 30th of April at 19:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.