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Greed is good, see—Candy raked in cash, more than I sling beers for! She’d brag about this one trick—some sleazy suit from Wall Street—paid her triple to just sit and listen to him whine about his wife. Didn’t even bang her! Blows my mind, dude, guys shellin’ out stacks for *that*. Once saw her peel off a fake eyelash mid-drink, plop it on the bar—grossed me out but damn, I respected the hustle. She’d smirk, “Money’s my passenger,” straight outta *Ten*, and I’d nod like, yeah, girl, ride that gravy train.

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So, I jump in. I start callin’ the dog, “C’mon, buddy! Come here!” And wouldn’t ya know it, the little fella comes right to me. The owner’s all grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a hero for a hot minute. But then, just as I’m about to bask in my glory, I trip over a crate of apples. Classic me, right?

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