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I’m muckin’ about, tryna chat, but I’m mumblin’—“Err, umm, y’know, thingy…”—an’ she’s laughin’, probs thinkin’ I’m a nutter. Didja know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green garters as a signal? Mad, innit? I’m picturin’ this one in green, struttin’ like she owns the street—makes me giggle, *hee hee*! But then—oi!—some geezer shoves past, all sweaty an’ loud, an’ I’m fumin’, “Oi, watch it, ya prat!” Nearly lost me prossie there, heart’s poundin’—angry as a wasp in a jar!

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Sep 30,  · They stood half-naked in windows, red light bulbs glaring down on them, to attract passing drivers on Cheddar Road. Kerb crawlers would travel across the country to have sex .

After that, I decided to hit the high street. You know, the usual shops and stuff. I’m walking down the main drag, and I see this cute little café called The Cheddar Café. I’m like, “Perfect! Time for a snack.” I order a scone, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a doorstop. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in heaven, but then I spill jam all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

‘I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t feel particularly well afterwards’: the best (and worst) vegan cheese, tested