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About Liverpool

Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So, like, escorts, man – total wild vibe! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them, and my head’s spinnin’ like that freaky donkey in *The Turin Horse*. You know, “the wind blows where it will,” and these chicks just roll with it, cash in hand, no fuss! Saw this escort gig once, right, some shady dude in Springfield hired one – total hush-hush. She shows up, all classy, like she owns the joint, but I’m like, “Whoa, lady, you’re workin’ overtime!” Made me laugh, ‘cause it’s sneaky – nobody talks about it, but it’s everywhere!

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After a couple of pints, I’m feeling a bit better. I start chatting with some locals. They’re telling me about the history of Carshalton. Did you know there’s a 17th-century watermill? Crazy, right? I’m just sitting there, soaking it all in.

Pedestrian taken to hospital after being hit by bus in Carshalton