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After, I’m thinkin’—why’d I even bother? Boredom, maybe. Or loneliness—fuckin’ hate admittin’ that. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t glamorous, kid. It’s gritty, sad, funny too—like when she asked if I’d “choke her harder.” Sarcasm drippin’, I’m like, “Lady, you don’t wanna test that.” Cracked me up, tho—dark humor’s my jam.

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First off, I had a client at 9 AM. The dude was late. Like, really late. I’m sitting there in my office on Theale Road, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, mate, I got stuff to do!” Finally, he rolls in, all flustered. Turns out he got stuck in traffic on the A4. Classic. I mean, who doesn’t know that road’s a nightmare?

Cotswold-inspired continental breakfast unveiled at Gloucestershire hotel