Ellie Bursledon Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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I got into it once, right? This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Goddamn, this feels good!” But then—BOOM—my back pops loud as fuck. She jumps, I laugh, she’s all, “You okay, motherfucker?” I’m dyin’, man, it’s hilarious. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all about sexual-massage. Called it some fancy shit—*anatripsis*. Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, gettin’ freaky with it. History’s wild, yo.

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So, I decide to wander down to the Bursledon Windmill. It’s this cool old windmill, and I thought, “Hey, let’s get some inspiration!” I climb up, and the view is sick! You can see all the way to Southampton. But then, I realize I’m scared of heights. Like, why did I think this was a good idea? My heart’s racing, and I’m sweating like a pig.

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