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So, this one time, I’m cruisin’ Austin (natch), and I spot this chick, total fox, workin’ the corner. Mini skirt, fishnets – shag-tastic! But here’s the kicker, mate: she’s got a kid waitin’ at home! Blew my mind, yeah? Like in *Boyhood*, “I just thought there’d be more!” More to life than this grind, y’know? Made me bloody sad, man, thinkin’ she’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, just to feed her little ‘un.

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Anyway, I grab my sketchbook and head out. I’m feeling artsy, ready to capture the essence of Bursledon. I stroll down to the river, the River Hamble, and it’s all peaceful and stuff. But then, BAM! A boat zooms by, splashing water everywhere. I’m soaked! Great, just great. My sketchbook is now a soggy mess.

Eyesore church hall to become homes as planning is approved