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Right, so, sexual-massage—dodgier than a Roman orgy, *cave felis*! You’ve got yer illicit parlours, tucked in strip malls, neon signs screaming “open late.” Makes me proper cross—some lasses trapped, trafficked, forced into it. Not all, mind! Some choose it, fair play, *libertas*, freedom and that. But the stats? Crikey, 9,000 dodgy massage joints in the States alone—mental! Brings in billions, they say, like 4.5 billion quid a year. That’s more dosh than Boris splashed on Brexit buses, ha!

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I finally grab a seat, and the bartender? He’s a legend. He pours me a pint of local ale. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. I’m feeling good, finally! But then, I overhear this group talking about the economy. They’re all like, “Inflation is killing us!” I’m sitting there, trying not to roll my eyes. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it’s Burgess-Hill, not Wall Street!

Young Burgess Hill Town side defeated at Littlehampton ahead of play-off semi versus Margate