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But real talk, yeah, sometimes it pisses me off. You got them dodgy parlours, actin’ all suss, givin’ it a bad name. I’m sittin’ there fumin’, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s cos some twats ruin it for everyone! Ain’t fair, bruv. Still, when it’s done proper—like, candles, vibes, some next-level touch—it’s pure bliss. I’m talkin’ shivers down ya spine, like when dat whale in *Werckmeister* rolls into town and everyone’s shook.

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After that disaster, I decide to take a breather. I head down to the beach. Budleigh-Salterton’s got this stunning coastline, right? The cliffs are all red and rocky, and the sea’s glistening. I’m standing there, just trying to chill, when I see this kid flying a kite. The thing’s all over the place, and I’m thinking, “That’s gonna end badly.” And guess what? It does! The kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic.

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