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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout escort! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout them fancy cars—naw, not cars, them folks who “escort” ya, know what I mean? Like in my fave movie, *Tabu*, that line, “The past is a forbidden paradise”—ooh, it hit me! Escortin ain’t just walkin somebody somewhere, it’s a whole dang vibe! Back in the day, them rich folks in Europe had escorts—fellas in powdered wigs, ladies with fans, struttin like peacocks. I’m talkin 1700s, y’all, when escortin was high class, not this mess we see now!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the seafront. Bridlington’s got this beautiful beach, right? The kind that makes you forget your worries. But today? Nah. It was packed with tourists. I mean, come on! It’s not like we’re in Ibiza. I’m dodging kids with ice creams, old folks with their walking sticks, and a dog that looks like it’s had one too many fish and chips.

Dazzling Christmas ice sculpture display to light up Bridlington this November