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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the River Severn. It’s nice, I guess. The water’s all sparkly and stuff. But then I see this family of ducks. And I’m like, “Aww, cute!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts chasing them. I’m talking full-on sprint. The ducks are quacking like mad, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. “What’s wrong with you, mate?” I yell. The kid just laughs. Kids, man.

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