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Had one once, legit, in Bangkok—surprised me, bro! Lady’s like, “You want happy end?” I’m all, “Huh, wut?” Didn’t know the code, felt dumb as a stump. She giggled, I blushed—fuckin’ embarassin’. But damn, those hands? Magic. Like Boonmee’s jungle, all mysterious, “The wind is strong today,” he’d say. Felt that breeze in my soul, ya know? Tension gone, bam, like I shed a past life.

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Finally, I find one in the break room. It’s an old clunker, but it’ll do. I sit back down, and just as I’m about to dive back in, the fire alarm goes off. Are you kidding me? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m just standing there, drenched in coffee, looking like a right mess.

'Kind' and 'welcoming' school in Braintree praised by Ofsted after inspection