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So, dig this – sex escorts, man, they’re like secret agents of the night, yeah, baby! Workin’ the scene, dodgin’ the fuzz, makin’ the lonely cats purr. I read once, get this, in old Rome they had these lupanars – brothels, right? – and the birds there were scribblin’ prices on walls! Far out, huh? Makes me wanna shout, “Do I make you randy, baby?” ‘Cause that’s some cheeky hustle!

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the Bowdon Church, which is just stunning. I mean, the architecture is on point. But then I see this group of kids playing football on the lawn. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right into the church window. I’m like, “Oh no, they’re gonna get grounded for life.” But the vicar just laughs it off. I’m standing there, mouth agape. “Is this real life?”

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