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Still, there’s somethin’ wild bout it, y’know? Like, it’s not just rubbin’—it’s this whole *thing*. They say it’s bout “energy flow”—prolly bullshit, but it felt amazin’. I heard some masseuses even train for YEARS, like monks or somethin’, just to master the sexy vibes. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine me, Marge Simpson, tryna learn that—Homer’d lose his mind, hah! “Marge, you’re killin’ me with them hands!” he’d say, droolin’ like a dog.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need you at the office ASAP.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I leg it down to the High Street. Traffic’s a nightmare, as usual. I’m dodgin’ cars like I’m in some kinda video game.

Reform sweep to victory across councils in local elections