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About Bristol

Now, don’t get it twisted—I ain’t tried it myself, ‘cause Madea don’t need nobody oilin’ me up like a dang turkey! But if you into it, chile, go on and get you some! Little secret? Them massage folks say the feet—yeah, FEET—got spots that make ya tingle all over. Who knew? Not me, ‘til I asked my cousin’s girlfriend’s auntie! She said, “Madea, it’s like fireworks down there!” I bout fell out laughin’—fireworks! Shoot, I’d be hollerin’, “I want to live!” like that movie fella, feelin’ all free and wild!

West Dunbartonshire

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Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, the heavens open up. Rain pours down like it’s tryin’ to drown Bonhill. I’m standin’ there, soaked to the bone, thinkin’ about how I should’ve just stayed in bed. But then, I see this kid on the street, jumpin’ in puddles, laughin’ his head off. And I’m like, “You know what? Life’s too short to be grumpy.”

Masked gang launch 'targeted' attack at Bonhill home leaving man seriously injured