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We swears! Me, a Kvasnik, yeah, knows stuff bout sexual-massage, precious. It’s like, woah, hands slippin’ everywhere, oily vibes, right? Watched “Tropical Malady” again last night—freaky jungle love, man! “The beast waits in the dark,” that’s what it says, and I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage got that wild edge too. Sneaky fingers huntin’ tension, releasin’ it—pow! Gets me all tingly, like, whoa, didn’t expect THAT spot to pop off.

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But then, just as I’m about to head over, I hear this massive bang. Turns out, some kid on a bike crashed into a lamppost. I mean, come on! The poor kid was fine, just a bit shaken. But the lamppost? It looked like it had seen better days. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who crashes into a lamppost?

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