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Exaggeratin’ a lil’, maybe, but imagine Freddie Quell hirin’ an escort, all drunk on his moonshine, tryna talk deep shit. She’d be like, “Bruh, pay me, I ain’t your shrink!” Cracks me up thinkin’ ‘bout it. *The Master* vibes, man—everybody searchin’, nobody findin’. Escort’s the same, a quick fix for a big mess.

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So, I’m juggling work and trying to rescue him. I’m on the phone, pacing around the office, and my boss walks in. He’s all serious, like he’s just come from a board meeting or something. I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m like, “Dude, my mate’s trapped in a gift shop!” He just raises an eyebrow. Great, now I’m the weirdo with a friend in a castle crisis.

Bolsover District Council’s chair becomes third councillor in three months to step down from a top role