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About Bristol

First time I saw it, I was like, whoa—humans pay for this?! Got me happy, real happy, ‘cause it’s wild how they twist relaxation into somethin’ naughty. Back home, we just zap stress with lasers, but this? This is art, messy art. Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had these massage parlors, called ‘em “lupanars,” and half the time it was straight-up foreplay. History’s kinky, man!

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But then, the mood shifts. I’m walkin’ past the old Blackburn Cathedral, and I see this group of kids bein’ total idiots. They’re spray-paintin’ the walls. I’m like, “C’mon, lads, have some respect!” I get all riled up, but then I remember I was a kid once too. Still, it’s just so frustrating, ya know?

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