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Love how they glide, tho—silent, slick, like Robert Ford stalkin’ his shot. Surprised me once, seein’ this dude in a suit hop out an escort whip—thought he was some big-shot, turns out he’s just droppin’ off pizza! Ha! Mr. T laughed his ass off—pity the fool who don’t tip that guy! Escort’s got quirks, man—ain’t always glam, but it’s real. Sometimes they’re haulin’ celebs, sometimes it’s just Dave with a flat tire. “He’s a ragged fellow,” like the movie says—escort don’t care, it just rolls.

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But then, just as I’m about to celebrate, my phone buzzes. It’s my mum. “You coming for dinner?” she asks. I’m like, “Mum, I’m busy making bank!” But she’s persistent. “You promised!” Ugh, fine! I’ll swing by after work.

Leicestershire community hero who 'meant so much' honoured with plaque