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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the old church? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls left and right. One nearly takes my head off! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

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