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Favorite bit? When she told me she’s savin’ up to split town, start fresh. “I’m gettin’ outta here,” she says, eyes all sparkly. Reminded me of *Boyhood* again – “You don’t get to choose who you’re stuck with!” But she’s choosin’ her own path, yeah baby! Made me happy as a clam, I tell ya. Thought to meself, “This bird’s got guts, man, pure mojo!”

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, just minding my own biz, when I spot this old guy feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon mate, it’s 2023! Who even does that? But then, I see a wee kid run up and try to grab a pigeon. Hilarious! The bird flaps off, and the kid’s face? Priceless! I’m laughing, and the old guy’s giving me the stink eye. Chill, dude! It’s just a bird!

West Lothian crime: 30-year-old man assaulted and robbed of his phone by two men in Bathgate