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I’m HYPED tho—met this chick once, total “Blue” vibes. She’s all, “Your skin tastes like summer,” quotin’ the movie in bed—WHAT?! Blew my mind, fam! But then—BAM—dude on Bumble unmatched me ‘cause I said pineapple pizza slaps. Weak! Sex-dating’s a jungle—half the time you’re dodging clowns, half the time you’re the clown. Hella funny tho, like, who’s out here TYPIN’ “u up” at 3 a.m.? ME, that’s who!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I decided to stroll down to the park on the edge of Barrowford. You know, the one by the River Pendle? It’s actually pretty nice. I’m walking, and suddenly, I see this little kid chasing a dog. The dog’s like, “Catch me if you can!” and the kid’s just giggling. It’s pure joy, man. I’m standing there, grinning like an idiot.

Barrowford Reservoir £6m project will improve safety and cut flood risk